GAINING UNDERSTANDING.

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   It's possible not to just survive, but to thrive and to live a healthy, wonderful life again.  


   
My last inpatient stay for my depression was in 2006.  A year before I had gotten the courage to leave my abuser, and ended up filing for divorce.  I was empowered by my decision, but the process isn't always easy.  The stress of it all lead to some unhealthy thinking.   Depression isn't always about wanting to end your life, it is sometimes  wanting the emotional pain to stop.

After spending five days in the hospital, I was set up with an intensive outpatient program. It was two weeks from 9- 3 everyday.  I gained insight on how my childhood led to some of my decisions.  I would say my upbringing was routinely normal.  I was the oldest of three brothers, so I took on a role as caretaker as an adult.  I was easily influenced by others.  I started gaining some acceptance  and understanding into my life choices.   While I was in the hospital  I also got introduced to clubhouse models.

"A clubhouse model is a community based program that helps people with mental illness rejoin society and maintain their place in it." 

There is no counseling that goes on. Staff and members work together to run programs.  I was able to get some transitional employment, since I had to resign from my job. I also received academic instruction for a one year medical certificate program.  I was able to gain some stability with my mental illness and gain some full-time employment.  I was discharged from seeing psychiatrists regularly. After attending Al-Anon for about 10 years, I was able to forgive my abuser and have a healthier relationship with my children.

All my recovery tools helped as three years ago I finished treatment for stage 3 breast cancer.  I really wanted to finally live.




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