ACCEPTANCE OF LIFE IS THE ONLY WAY TO STAY POSITIVE.

-

 The first year of  my cancer treatment, I was actually kind of numb.  The doctors tell you about all the possible side effects that can possible happen, and I wondered how my body would  handle it all. 

 I was stable with my depression, I was now remarried and recently got a promotion at work.  I was grateful for all the recovery I had, because it made me that much stronger to deal with another monster in my life.  I took leave from work and started chemotherapy in April of 2021.  August had a lumpectomy and started Radiation in October.  I was finished with TX in November of that year.   During one of my radiation appointments tears started running down my face and my doctor put in for a referral for a cancer psychologist.   It did take a couple months to get an appointment, but I went, listened and shared because my body was healing physically as well as emotionally again. 

I wasn't depressed. I didn't want to die, but somehow I frequently thought I would and it haunted me during the night.  I started my positive imagery again and utilized relaxing music.  I did have to start taking prescription sleep medication,and went through 2 to 3 to find the right one. In March of the next year, I got a " no evidence of disease"  So far I beat it.  I was grateful! The recovery now continues as my body and soul heal again.



Comments

  1. AnonymousDecember 12, 2024 at 9:55 PM

    I am so glad you are posting your journey. I continue to pray for you.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

FAITH IS NOT NECESSARILY ABOUT GOD.

-
Image
Up in the clouds.   One of the most important pieces in my recovery has been my faith.  I consider myself more spiritual than religious.  I was raised evangelical protestant.  I grew up going to church,went to christian camps in the summer and even went to a christian college.  For the most part I had good experiences.  This gave me a foundation when I started my path of recovery. My very first bout with depression was in my junior year of college.  I didn't mention this in my earlier posts.  I became very stressed out and almost took time off  before my senior year. I didn't want to end my life, but I did get very overwhelmed.  I made an appointment with the college chaplain and did have some sessions with him.  I don't remember what we talked about, but I did go on to finish my senior year.    One of the reasons I always sought help was that I grew up knowing taking your life was a sin. When I was introduced to Al-Anon, ...
Read more

FEAR NOT MY THOUGHTS.

-
Image
We don't have to control our thoughts.  We just have to stop letting them control us. Depression and anxiety for me go hand in hand.   Along with depression, I am diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder.  Now that my depression is stable, I can understand my anxiety more.  I had to have treatment for both.  Some of my worry led to my depression.  With my anxiety I had excessive worry.  I always thought of the worst case scenario.  Some of my thoughts became obsessive and I couldn't stop them.  It was very crippling.  These thoughts would led to helplessness and hopelessness, which in turn would lead to my emotional pain and my thoughts of suicide. Recovery for me always comes back to acceptance.  Once I gained acceptance of my circumstances and not question why, I was able to start healing.   When I got diagnosed with breast cancer, my thoughts were how and why?  There was no genetic connection.  Was it ...
Read more

HOW KNOWLEDGE IS POWER.

-
Image
  When depression and anxiety are talked about,  people who aren't educated think they are two separate diagnosis.  Essentially they are, but they are very intertwined with each other.  Anxiety with excessive worry can bring on feelings of depression, maybe some helplessness and hopelessness.  Likewise when depression comes about, anxiety and worry can become worse.  This was my pattern.  My anxiety and worry to my feelings of helplessness and depression. My depression has been stable for about 19 years. When I got diagnosed with my breast cancer my depression seemed to stay stable.  I often wondered if I was cancer free, why I wasn't jumping for joy. I was very grateful I was alive, but my anxiety reared its ugly head. I had several health issues that evolved after tx.  My lungs, heart and thyroid were affected.  My life had changed.  I had to retire, I still don't have my stamina back and after 4 years the doctors are finally sayi...
Read more